We all like to be right. And none of us likes to feel wrong when we know we are right.
Most of all, as competitors, none of us like to walk away thinking we let the other person win. Especially when we know we were right.
Here are some examples of when to just let the other person win.
Customers
You cannot win an argument with a customer and expect them to feel good about buying from you again.
If a customer says you did something wrong, listen. Try hard to understand what the customer is saying and feeling. If an apology works for the customer, give it without reservation.
If you need to save face, stick to the point of contention. If the issue is a missing shipment or invoice, ask the customer "You are right. How soon do you need a corrected invoice?". Over deliver and let the customer feel vindicated and good about their decision to do business with you.
Interviews
You cannot win an argument with a prospective employer during an interview. Don't even bother. It makes you look like a problematic candidate.
If the employer brings up a point of contention with you, learn to let it go. If it persists in bothering you, end the interview when possible and leave. if anything, ask for a break, step outside, count to ten and take a deep breath.
Boss
You cannot win a real argument with your boss. Keep documentation which clears your name and let it speak for itself. Don't argue, listen, make your point and shut up.
Your boss could make your life heck if he feels you won an argument at his expense. If you are right and your boss is a moral and ethical person, they will listen to your side and act fairly.
However, most bosses are human. If they are under pressure from customers or investors, they may not listen and may rush to a decision regarding your future with the company, i.e. you are no longer needed. As rash as your bosses' decision may be, they most likely will not recant their decision, ergo, you lose.
Don't argue with the boss with the goal to be right as the only acceptable result. You will lose.
Your spouse
In my case my wife. I can't win an argument with her to save my life!
But seriously folks, arguing may be your passion. Save it for the times and people where it may not take a professional toll on your life.
Wednesday
Marketing Me! Them (slower) vs. Us (faster)
We:
Are connected. We carry laptops, cell phones and Blackberries. We have high speed DSL at home, WiFi accounts for the road and demand fast internet in hotels. Rather than complain about our constant connectivity (and that we are constantly tied to work), we demand whats next and faster.
We:
Work more: We put in long hours at the office and at home. We take one more call, one more meeting and the last flight home. We take calls in the car and home and are willing to sacrifice sleep to get a head start on tomorrow. We don't limit ourselves to work either. We put in just as much time on our families and causes we care about.
We:
Want to go faster and further. We put in time in the gym, the court, the course and in our running shoes. We eat organic, take supplements and avoid the doctor outside of checkups. We boost our endurance with Starbucks and energy drinks. We drown ourselves in bottled water. We train our bodies to go on less sleep yet dream more and bigger.
We:
Maintain a blog, two websites, an email list and check our keywords and web stats daily. We registered our children's names as domains the day they were born and thought nothing of it. We belong to six social networks and publish our thoughts and opinions online.
We:
Think global and live local. We Skype, blog, podcast and eat Thai for lunch, Indian for dinner and drink water from France. Our work forces are world wide and our audience spans the globe.
We:
Want as few restrictions as possible. We limit ourselves only. We can do more and exceed only our own expectations. We learn from failure and accept setbacks as opportunities. We work smarter, faster and think small is the new big.
They:
Want to regress. They want a 1950's style economy of 8 hour days, fixed coffee breaks, lunch pails and lunch hours. They want color-coordinated collars and the segregated work force.
They:
Want a centrally controlled rationed life. A fixed work portion. A mandatory vacation serving. A diet of mediocrity and low expectations. Top the whole thing off with 25 years of service, a gold watch and a pension for dessert.
They:
Want collective bargaining, employment offices, secretarial pools, want ads and guaranteed employment. They want a "lifetime of service" in exchange for unconditional servitude, a cost of living adjustment and rewarded tenure.
They:
Want mile after mile of plain drab factories, office buildings, rows of desks, adding machines, and rotary dial telephones with cords.
They:
Want tariffs, high taxes, a thrifty working class with two rooms and a bath. They furnish their lives with fees, lines, clerks, and endless triplicated forms. They want a government fixed retirement plan and a passbook account.
They:
Want four television channels, AM radio, the corner bar with two beers on tap, meat and potatoes for dinner, a bus pass, one pair of sensible shoes and everything else which is "good enough".
It is an Us versus Them world. We have a choice to make. Should we take the temporarily safe route and step backwards or should we keep going forward?
What will you do and when do, will there be work waiting for you when you get there?
Happy hunting,
Are connected. We carry laptops, cell phones and Blackberries. We have high speed DSL at home, WiFi accounts for the road and demand fast internet in hotels. Rather than complain about our constant connectivity (and that we are constantly tied to work), we demand whats next and faster.
We:
Work more: We put in long hours at the office and at home. We take one more call, one more meeting and the last flight home. We take calls in the car and home and are willing to sacrifice sleep to get a head start on tomorrow. We don't limit ourselves to work either. We put in just as much time on our families and causes we care about.
We:
Want to go faster and further. We put in time in the gym, the court, the course and in our running shoes. We eat organic, take supplements and avoid the doctor outside of checkups. We boost our endurance with Starbucks and energy drinks. We drown ourselves in bottled water. We train our bodies to go on less sleep yet dream more and bigger.
We:
Maintain a blog, two websites, an email list and check our keywords and web stats daily. We registered our children's names as domains the day they were born and thought nothing of it. We belong to six social networks and publish our thoughts and opinions online.
We:
Think global and live local. We Skype, blog, podcast and eat Thai for lunch, Indian for dinner and drink water from France. Our work forces are world wide and our audience spans the globe.
We:
Want as few restrictions as possible. We limit ourselves only. We can do more and exceed only our own expectations. We learn from failure and accept setbacks as opportunities. We work smarter, faster and think small is the new big.
They:
Want to regress. They want a 1950's style economy of 8 hour days, fixed coffee breaks, lunch pails and lunch hours. They want color-coordinated collars and the segregated work force.
They:
Want a centrally controlled rationed life. A fixed work portion. A mandatory vacation serving. A diet of mediocrity and low expectations. Top the whole thing off with 25 years of service, a gold watch and a pension for dessert.
They:
Want collective bargaining, employment offices, secretarial pools, want ads and guaranteed employment. They want a "lifetime of service" in exchange for unconditional servitude, a cost of living adjustment and rewarded tenure.
They:
Want mile after mile of plain drab factories, office buildings, rows of desks, adding machines, and rotary dial telephones with cords.
They:
Want tariffs, high taxes, a thrifty working class with two rooms and a bath. They furnish their lives with fees, lines, clerks, and endless triplicated forms. They want a government fixed retirement plan and a passbook account.
They:
Want four television channels, AM radio, the corner bar with two beers on tap, meat and potatoes for dinner, a bus pass, one pair of sensible shoes and everything else which is "good enough".
It is an Us versus Them world. We have a choice to make. Should we take the temporarily safe route and step backwards or should we keep going forward?
What will you do and when do, will there be work waiting for you when you get there?
Happy hunting,
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