Marketing Me! Funny resignation letters and emails

If levity is your aim, then make your resignation letter or email memorable.

- Use email. CC (courtesy copy) as many of your coworkers as possible.
- Be succinct, to the point and "snarky".
- Avoid seriousness.

Some exiting employees love emotional hand wringing when penning a resignation. Why bother I say? The employer is not going to take it serious and your remaining co-workers really need the humorous boost in their day.

Here is a good template:

To whom it may concern,

Please accept this notice of my resignation from Wally's Wonder Widgets affective June 1, 2008.

Although I have more than 18 days of unused vacation time, our lovely and talented HR manager Terry informed me that Wally's policy is "use 'em or lose 'em" so I guess I can kiss that time off good bye. And Wally, I have something for you to kiss as well!

Further, company policy dictates that I return all company property on or before my last day of employment. That would include my company shirt, laptop, sample case and company literature. In short, that would be next to impossible to do.

My company shirt disintegrated in the laundry the second time I washed it. I ended up making my own from an old t-shirt I had and my customers found it memorable to say the least.

My laptop conked out three weeks ago and our illustrious and oh so competent IT department managed to make it fully non-functional after seven days of ignoring it so they could play Half Life during work hours. I have been making do in the meantime with a legal pad, a calculator and text messaging on my cell phone.

My sample case was emptied months ago. I gave all of my working Wonder Widgets to customers who still had not received their orders or whose orders included non-functioning units. The sample case does make an attractive carrying case for my legal pad and calculator though!

As for company literature, I have been leaving that in the toilet because we have been out of toilet paper for some time.

Please forward my final paycheck to my home address on file although I would prefer to be paid in cash before exiting the building. You can pay me from the executive secretaries' cash box located at her desk. I have noticed that our CEO, Wally, has a habit of helping himself to the box on a regular basis so I assume that won't be a problem.

I would thank you for the opportunity at Wally's Wonder Widgets, but my therapist suggests that I put negative events in my life behind me and instead focus on the positive merits of unemployment.

Sincerely happy,

Your name,

Marketing Me! Goodbye email at work, Seth Godin and farewells

From the great Seth Godin on his blog..

It seems to me that you ought to say goodbye with the same care and attention to detail and honesty you use to say hello. You never know when you'll be back.

So remember, when leaving the job, skip the blame, accusations, gossip and rumors. Stay positive, be real and be prepared if you have to come back!

Marketing Me! Goodbye farewell work email and letters

Since this post a few weeks ago, the traffic on this subject has been higher than ever before.

This leads me to a few observations..

1) More people are changing jobs which precludes the need for an exit email to coworkers. And people changing jobs is right in line with what the experts have been saying for a couple of decades now - "People are changing jobs and careers more frequently".

2) More people are putting some thought into what they say and how they say it.

3) I think more people are trying to "make a statement" about everything in their life and that includes exits.

The sales administrator at my company (How did we let her get away!???) penned an email to a handful of close co-workers on her final day. It was personable, funny and non-offensive. It went something like this...

All,

On my last day, I wanted to let all of you know how much I enjoyed working with you and getting to know each of you. I wish nothing but the best for all of you and the company. Once I get settled in, I will send you my new contact information. And don't worry, I will not be a stranger! Plan on seeing me from time to time for lunch or drinks or whatever! I feel like Dorothy saying goodbye to the Tin Man, Scarecrow and Cowardly Lion. Although I am going somewhere good, please know that each of you touched me and helped me grow professionally in your own way. I will miss you.

All the best,

You get the idea.

Now here is the worse thing you can say in a goodbye email at work:

I am outta here! Before the door hits me on the way out, (and don't think it was my idea!), let me pass on a few things to some of you. Those of you who are good, and you know who you are, I love you and hope things go your way someday. This company does not deserve you. (Big shout out to the second shift, btw!). As for Mr. You Know Who, karma is a pain. (Couldn't happen to a nicer guy!). And for you, Miss Busy Body, who you gonna talk about now? Huh? Guess what? We all know about the copy room!

Any how, if any of you make it uptown, stop by [Company] and look me up. We can grab a drink or something and I will let you cry on my shoulder.

On to bigger and better things, my brothers and sisters! Peace out!

Night and day.

You make the call. Like I said earlier, goodbye and farewell emails at work are overrated in my book. Let your work and reputation stand in its place instead.

But if you have to make a farewell address to the troops, do it with some dignity and with your heart in the right place; not on your sleeve.

Happy hunting,